Teh. Party.
My sister is getting married in June so this past weekend a few friends and I took my sister out.
Friday night we went bar hopping in Milwaukee. We started out at a Mexican bar/grill for a couple beers and margaritas and then headed out to Have a nice day Cafe. We had a great time dancing until this middle aged, balding (I have nothing against bald guys, btw.. just describing the weirdo.) guy in business attire wanting to grind dance with my sister. It was funny in the beginning, but when he wouldn't let her alone, we left. Another guy started dancing behind me and telling me to "back that thing up." I wasn't impressed with him so I told him that "it's backed up as far as it's going to go with you." From there we went to Hooligans and met a very, very, very attractive guy from England. Danny was all over Ashley, Courtney and I until his friends wanted to go to Kush.. some other bar down the street. I should add that at this point we were very drunk. We tried to get into another bar called... shit, I can't remember. (Edit: It's called Lava.) There was a fight outside the club and they weren't letting anyone in so we walked back to Hooligans and met a few guys from Hawaii. We were all getting pretty hungry at 2:00am, so we got a ride to Oakland Gyros and while waiting for our ride, Ashley started yelling "I love the cock" while parading around with the giant inflatable penis with a smiley face we made her dance and walk around with. She also started hugging and kissing me and staying "this is my sister and I love her!!!" It was hysterical. All the men we met were completely fascinated by Meatloaf the inflatable cock. We started walking back to Kelly's apartment and that's were my memory pretty much fades out. I know I went to bed around 4:30am and woke up around 7:30am with my knees burning from all the dancing.. in freaking clogs. What the hell was I thinking?
Saturday after we all took turns killing Kelly's toilet with beer shits, Kelly and I sat upstairs trying to wake Ashley up while watching Wildboyz on MTV2. Somewhere around noon we ate a greezy breakfast with lots of toast and then drove back to Kelly's to pack up our cars and head our separate ways. Ashley took my car back to Kenosha to take a shower and pack up for Saturday night, while Kelly and I were getting ready to drive to Sendiks to pick up some food and then to The Cove in Lake Geneva to decorate the 900 square foot room I rented for the night. After a lengthy discussion about why MapQuest sucks and how much we hate resort towns we finally managed to get into our room which was uber-sweet btw. Kelly hung up the pin the hot on the hunk while I tried to blow up the penis shaped balloons. My god, I almost passed out. Tough little buggers. I lit a bunch of candles and blew up the "alternate position" balloons and last, but not least.. my favorite.. the ring toss clown with the giant penis.
Everyone makes it on time and we start drinking right away. We first make Ashley dress up in the "Blow job survival kit". She walks out to the balcony dressed in a plastic apron, gloves and a hairnet looking very much like a lunch lady and yells "Jizz free since '93!" You probably had to be there. We call a cab and leave for the Sugar Shack around 7:30. We manage to get seats right up front even though we should have left a bit earlier. The waiters are fucking hot for the most part. Our waiter, omg.... Everyone at our table wanted to take him back to our place. After we get our free drinks the show starts with the guy from Spain. Yum. As for myself, I loved the guy as we affectionately called "fireman" all night. His ass. I can't express in words how unbelievably perfect this man's ass was. It was like heaven in ass form. And our last performer... Andrew. Oh god could he dance... and his body...... Ashley and I said we wanted to lick the sweat off his chest. Oh god.....
To those who don't know (which none of us there did in the beginning) the women in the audience are INCOURAGED to grab, spank, touch.... everything. And we were allowed to bring cameras, which I thought was a HUGE no no. Apparently women can. I'm not sure if they allow the men downstairs to touch the women dancers, but my guess is no. So there are many photos to come of numerous lap dances as well as... Sorry, my mind was wondering all over our waiter's body...
The lap dance. How truly ignorant we were. So, just about as soon as we get into the club, two incredibly hot waiters walk up to us with what looks like test tube racks filled with shots. They ask us if we'd like one for 5 dollars. We politely decline. Had we known... we all would have brought significantly more cash.. not that I didn't spend enough. Anyhoo...
Katie decided to buy Ashley a shot. The waiter dressed up like a construction worker walked up to Ashley, asked her what flavor and then stuck that little test tube down his pants. Ashley lets out a little "oh. my. god." She bends over, bites the end of the tube, throws her head back and downs the shot. Then came the lap dance. He grabbed her arms and put her hands all over his chest and ass. The looks on all the girls' faces was priceless. I think a few of us almost fainted. Needless to say there were a good many shots had by all....
Then came one of my favorite parts... I had been dancing with a woman who was with another bachelorette party. We had been talking (read: cat-calling all night) when I felt a pair of arms encircle my waist and pull me into a lap. It was the announcer! So there we were, grind dancing on my chair so I grabbed my new friend and pulled her onto my lap and we had our own little porno in the making going on. :)
My last story from that evening recalls how Ashley and I received our Sugar Shack shirts....
Towards the end of the evening, all the waiters and dancers walk around the room asking if anyone wants to dance with them on stage for 20 dollars. Katie buys Ashley a dance. She walks up on stage and begins dancing and then strips the shirt off his body. It floats to the ground as her hands move directly to his ass, and then back up to his chest. I almost fainted. I thought.. "There is no way in hell I'm getting up there..." until our waiter walked around and asked me. He asked, I jumped. He had this incredible body... so. freakin. chiseled. After a bit of freaky dancing I started taking off his shirt... felt him up.. he stared into my eyes.. my god what a stare, and then gave me a kiss and said "thanks". I said the first thing out of my mouth: "Oh my god, no thank you!"
After the show let out and as we waited for the cab we kept talking about "fireman" and Andrew. We went back to the suite, had Ashley open her gifts and then play a few games and went to bed. I can honestly say this was the best weekend I've ever had in my life. I'm still waiting for my voice to recover. It's been 2 days and I still can't talk. ;)
Photos when I get them from Kate. ;)
Friday night we went bar hopping in Milwaukee. We started out at a Mexican bar/grill for a couple beers and margaritas and then headed out to Have a nice day Cafe. We had a great time dancing until this middle aged, balding (I have nothing against bald guys, btw.. just describing the weirdo.) guy in business attire wanting to grind dance with my sister. It was funny in the beginning, but when he wouldn't let her alone, we left. Another guy started dancing behind me and telling me to "back that thing up." I wasn't impressed with him so I told him that "it's backed up as far as it's going to go with you." From there we went to Hooligans and met a very, very, very attractive guy from England. Danny was all over Ashley, Courtney and I until his friends wanted to go to Kush.. some other bar down the street. I should add that at this point we were very drunk. We tried to get into another bar called... shit, I can't remember. (Edit: It's called Lava.) There was a fight outside the club and they weren't letting anyone in so we walked back to Hooligans and met a few guys from Hawaii. We were all getting pretty hungry at 2:00am, so we got a ride to Oakland Gyros and while waiting for our ride, Ashley started yelling "I love the cock" while parading around with the giant inflatable penis with a smiley face we made her dance and walk around with. She also started hugging and kissing me and staying "this is my sister and I love her!!!" It was hysterical. All the men we met were completely fascinated by Meatloaf the inflatable cock. We started walking back to Kelly's apartment and that's were my memory pretty much fades out. I know I went to bed around 4:30am and woke up around 7:30am with my knees burning from all the dancing.. in freaking clogs. What the hell was I thinking?
Saturday after we all took turns killing Kelly's toilet with beer shits, Kelly and I sat upstairs trying to wake Ashley up while watching Wildboyz on MTV2. Somewhere around noon we ate a greezy breakfast with lots of toast and then drove back to Kelly's to pack up our cars and head our separate ways. Ashley took my car back to Kenosha to take a shower and pack up for Saturday night, while Kelly and I were getting ready to drive to Sendiks to pick up some food and then to The Cove in Lake Geneva to decorate the 900 square foot room I rented for the night. After a lengthy discussion about why MapQuest sucks and how much we hate resort towns we finally managed to get into our room which was uber-sweet btw. Kelly hung up the pin the hot on the hunk while I tried to blow up the penis shaped balloons. My god, I almost passed out. Tough little buggers. I lit a bunch of candles and blew up the "alternate position" balloons and last, but not least.. my favorite.. the ring toss clown with the giant penis.
Everyone makes it on time and we start drinking right away. We first make Ashley dress up in the "Blow job survival kit". She walks out to the balcony dressed in a plastic apron, gloves and a hairnet looking very much like a lunch lady and yells "Jizz free since '93!" You probably had to be there. We call a cab and leave for the Sugar Shack around 7:30. We manage to get seats right up front even though we should have left a bit earlier. The waiters are fucking hot for the most part. Our waiter, omg.... Everyone at our table wanted to take him back to our place. After we get our free drinks the show starts with the guy from Spain. Yum. As for myself, I loved the guy as we affectionately called "fireman" all night. His ass. I can't express in words how unbelievably perfect this man's ass was. It was like heaven in ass form. And our last performer... Andrew. Oh god could he dance... and his body...... Ashley and I said we wanted to lick the sweat off his chest. Oh god.....
To those who don't know (which none of us there did in the beginning) the women in the audience are INCOURAGED to grab, spank, touch.... everything. And we were allowed to bring cameras, which I thought was a HUGE no no. Apparently women can. I'm not sure if they allow the men downstairs to touch the women dancers, but my guess is no. So there are many photos to come of numerous lap dances as well as... Sorry, my mind was wondering all over our waiter's body...
The lap dance. How truly ignorant we were. So, just about as soon as we get into the club, two incredibly hot waiters walk up to us with what looks like test tube racks filled with shots. They ask us if we'd like one for 5 dollars. We politely decline. Had we known... we all would have brought significantly more cash.. not that I didn't spend enough. Anyhoo...
Katie decided to buy Ashley a shot. The waiter dressed up like a construction worker walked up to Ashley, asked her what flavor and then stuck that little test tube down his pants. Ashley lets out a little "oh. my. god." She bends over, bites the end of the tube, throws her head back and downs the shot. Then came the lap dance. He grabbed her arms and put her hands all over his chest and ass. The looks on all the girls' faces was priceless. I think a few of us almost fainted. Needless to say there were a good many shots had by all....
Then came one of my favorite parts... I had been dancing with a woman who was with another bachelorette party. We had been talking (read: cat-calling all night) when I felt a pair of arms encircle my waist and pull me into a lap. It was the announcer! So there we were, grind dancing on my chair so I grabbed my new friend and pulled her onto my lap and we had our own little porno in the making going on. :)
My last story from that evening recalls how Ashley and I received our Sugar Shack shirts....
Towards the end of the evening, all the waiters and dancers walk around the room asking if anyone wants to dance with them on stage for 20 dollars. Katie buys Ashley a dance. She walks up on stage and begins dancing and then strips the shirt off his body. It floats to the ground as her hands move directly to his ass, and then back up to his chest. I almost fainted. I thought.. "There is no way in hell I'm getting up there..." until our waiter walked around and asked me. He asked, I jumped. He had this incredible body... so. freakin. chiseled. After a bit of freaky dancing I started taking off his shirt... felt him up.. he stared into my eyes.. my god what a stare, and then gave me a kiss and said "thanks". I said the first thing out of my mouth: "Oh my god, no thank you!"
After the show let out and as we waited for the cab we kept talking about "fireman" and Andrew. We went back to the suite, had Ashley open her gifts and then play a few games and went to bed. I can honestly say this was the best weekend I've ever had in my life. I'm still waiting for my voice to recover. It's been 2 days and I still can't talk. ;)
Photos when I get them from Kate. ;)
posted by teh peanut at 6:40 PM
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